Money and the "Game of Life and How to Play It"

Ladies,

What a wondrous world this is when  Men can marry Men and Woman can marry Woman. The reality is still woman do not get equal pay for doing the same job, employment men do. What the heck got me thinking about this. I once read a book called The Game of Life and how to Play It. 

This morning I received an email from a man I respected in beginning of my career and again when I started my first event planning company. How interesting it is that he is still teaching what he taught so many years ago. He has been through his own life issues. Meaning life hasn't been always easy for him. However, although he is divorced, remarried no one has ever taken away his right to make a living because of his belief system or because he got a divorce.

What an interesting world this is. If equality has hit the marriage place why isn't equality in the work place? Did you know that statistically speaking more single mom's are hurting than men. About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. Nearly two-thirds are born to mothers under the age of 30. 

PlaceSettings by Maria Kamon @ Amazon.com

 Single mothers earn incomes that place them well below married mothers in the income ladder. Half with an annual income less than $25,000. vs 38 percent of fathers have an annual income of $50,000 or more. - 


That means if a male to male relationship happens their average income will be a hundred percent (100%) greater than a woman to woman marriage. This also means that male to male marriage (Forgive me for the wording, trying to be people sensitive on feelings) A male female marriage still will make only seventy-five percent (75%) of the "traditional marriage" will make. What the heck?!

 

I am a signal mom these days, believing in the right to make a living. I am so glad my friend told me he has a new book out. This blog has nothing to do with his book other than it got me upset at the fact that he will make millions off his book and I have made $4.34 yes that is (four dollars and thirty-four cents) all year off this blog. Yes, why because everyone wanted to know what event planners are all about during divorce. Mean well people who in saying they want to help, take more than they give.    

Why then as single woman are we not embracing other woman? It's a wed thing. We fear the unexpected. The woman who is going to take our man. The cheating man who wants more than what belongs to him. You know the old boyfriend who will drive a 100 miles to tell you he loves you, wants to provide for you and then turns around and helps your man. Causing you pain and sorrow.  Making you less valuable and speaking to others for you in the workplace. Affecting you while making a living while giving you all the pain, and saying that's Christian!  It's not. It's your workplace. I am my workplace. I have to make a living otherwise I don't eat. Just like gay couples, just like hertersexual couples. I am human with needs just like you. The difference is I choose to be a single mom. Okay, that was a venting point. Men have them too. The old girlfriend that will drive all those miles to hurt them and their marriage. Then there are woman l know that tell men to go back to their marriage and stop doing what they are doing. Getting to the point where we are upset and have to yell at the man to "F___" his own wife. Meaning go have sex with your own wife I am a single mom and need to make a living. You are not of interest to me. I don't want to have sex with you or have an affair. I am choosing to be single and a formal being. 

Let me tell you, this is an anger point for me. The United States of America is liberal enough to let legalizing "Gay" marriages happen, however they are not liberal enough to let legalize "Equal Pay" for women make the same about of money or more than men in the workplace? Send me your thoughts and help me to understand. Please use the comment box. Thank you Internet for the pictures. The Internet is something I never knew existed 30 years ago. Also something I am thankful my pastor's prayed with me about. 

Now it's about making Equal Pay happen for woman!

If you like this post, click on a sponsor. Thank you!

You Want to Get Married I Know a Friend...

Hi there,

Place Setting for One

Have you ever been one of these ladies that your mother would say, 'so you want to get married I know a friend...my friends son". Growing up I heard this a lot. My friends mothers would bring over their young adolescent sons to see if they could would want to marry me. Oh my God, how I hated those family get togethers. It happened time and time again. Only for my mother to feel rejected every time.

Such old school stuff I would think. I knew that God had to have a better plan for my life, then marrying someone I didn't love let alone didn't know. Many different nationalities or cultures still believe in this tradition. It is the difference between marrying someone you love and loving the one you married. Either way it doesn't mean you will be successful at it. In marriage it takes more than just love. It is a balance of love plus commitment, plus communication. Communication means you have to be able to talk through the problems to get to the solution.

Get this. Now I am divorced and I hear... I know the perfect man you can have sex with. As if that is going to solve anything. Who will provide for me. Who will take care of me when I am old. While I was married then man I was married to was not my mom's favorite choice for me. Now I am divorced I shouldn't be without a mom.

In my youth, I thought God has to have something better for me. I choose to become a college graduate just in case. Now that I am the new...."whatever the trendy word is for the age I am in" I think who wants to start all over. If I didn't need a man in my youth, do I need one now? They all have issues at my age. Baggage so to speak.

I congratulate you on your desire to become wed. I respect your choice. I also appreciate and the choice to be single. You don't have to be married to be happy. There is a point where you just want to learn to be single again to make choices for yourself your business. I honestly would prefer you stay out of my business. It's called RESPECT! I respect your choice, respect mine. Here are some tips to know you are ready for marriage.

Marriage Is for Two

1. You are both in sync about faith, religion or culture.
2. You both feel called to, or lead to stay in the relationship.
3. The relationship looks like what you imagined for both of you.
4. The relationship is more than just about sex. (AKA booty call)
5. Your communication skill with each other is gentle, kind and loving.
6. There is no and I mean NO physical , emotional or spiritual abuse.
7. You can both equally share in the responsibility before you.
8. You feel safe and secure with me. ( You can trust him visit and know he won't steal from you.)
9. Know the reason why you want to get married. Is it security, love, money, etc. Knowing the truth about yourself, helps you to have integrity in your relationship.
10. Relationships all look different don't compare yourself to another.
11. Never get married thinking you are not good enough.
12. Loving who you are is thanking the God who created you. Who let you be born in the first place. Even if you didn't have the ideal childhood, mother or father. There was a Sovereign God who allowed you to be born therefore you are a value, and precious in the eyes of God.

What Does a Wedding Look Like

Hi there,

Your a signal woman you want to get wed. What does that look like. Honestly, I don't know. I plan them organize them, produce them, however the truth is I don't know what that will be for you. It looks different for every woman.

There are pictures I can add to the blog to help you visualize, however so are there a lot of bride magazines that do the same thing. If you are thinking of the diamond. It has lots of angles, facets they are called and so does a wedding. The main thing I ask couples is to think of a few things they really like and build on that.

1. Do you as a couple have something you enjoy doing that you would invite friends to do with you?
2. Beach, Camping, Mountains, City, if ones of these is your favorite, that should be the location you choose.
3. Is there a favorite color that you love and your groom loves it too. Or the color of the sky while you are visiting one of these places? The green of the plants, the snow white color of the mountains in the winter. Then maybe that should be your color.
4. Did you or do you have friends that you both love doing things with? Or childhood friends that you want to stay in touch with. Consider them for your Best or your Maid of Honor. Remember and this is something no one wants to think about. If you ever split up as a couple, those relationships are split forever. Even if she was your friend. Why because they will always remind of that day. It will take their tender love to get you through it. If they are not in a place to do that, then the friendship might end. 
5. Finances, the number one reason why marriage have stress. Why relationships end. Set a budget. This is how much money we have to spend. Then set a second budget. That the okay emotional buying happens budget and thirdly the budget, where you think I have to return things or not do things, because I am not willing to stress my marriage. If you are a couple that is not good with budget, this way leaves room for discussion. 

Weddings are suppose to be your interest, your thoughts, your future as a couple. There are some things that are traditional because you want them or because the venue only allows things to be done a certain way. How does a wedding look, like you image and can afford. 

Single Woman Get Wed

Hi there,

Funny how after many years of being married you become, single. Can't say it was my desire or ever really of dream of mine it is something that happened, something that spiraled out of control. I plan weddings, I don't divorce. Needless to say because I didn't plan for divorce and he did, I lost. Her I am to share with you what I know about being single, being married and the best of who I am. The difference between and the importance of both.

There are signs from men who say, Single Woman wants to Wed. This is not that type of blog. It is not a want ad, if that is why you are reading it STOP you won't like what I have to say about that subject. I loath men who want to sell woman or call them any types of me. Plus it is illegal.