Financial Assistance for Woman Who Wed

Hi there, Reader:

Happy New Year! I was thinking about all the money being spent and the expectations on young and old woman today. Your not only expected to go to college or university, your also expected to pay for it. When you graduate your expected to be debt free. First, be kind to yourself and trust yourself that you can do it.

As I thought about it I realized one of the most difficult transitions in life is from teen to young adulthood to manhood. Not really sure if that is what it is called. However, what I do know. is expectations of others can make life more difficult than what it needs to be. If I thought I was something great I would of taken back the advice I gave my own children thinking I would be with them all the time and shared this with then.

1.  As soon as possible open up a savings account. This one would be all yours independent of your parents saving account for you. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars. It just has to be a place you can place money into it each month. I would start off with 10-20% of your pay check. I understand your only making minimum wage. The reality is isn't 10-20 what you would pay someone as a tip? Why not pay yourself?

2. Figure out a monthly, weekly and daily budget. There are many books that teach people how to do this. Don't give up if the first one doesn't work. Try again until you find one you can stick with. Put away purchasing things you want and start putting money you want away.  That little starbucks or that little black dress you wanted for the New Years Eve Party....all have to wait.

3. Your parents had a plan for your life and now you are on your own trying to figure out if those plans are what you really wanted. It's okay, just keep moving forward and you will figure it out. I promise you will figure out. So many of lives challenges are related to money. Those that have and those that have not. You just have to plan...that is how those people have. There is nothing with possessions on earth. What is important is that you have integrity as you create yours.

4. After college or university you can devise a way to get out of debt. You have accomplished your goals and on to the next. You might have to have debt to accomplish your goal. The first is to get out of debt, so you know you can. It is to understand that you can pay off your debt if you have to. Then the next goal you set you'll know you can accomplish, because you accomplished the first. Parent want children to attend college, it develops a seance of independence. and accomplishment. It builds the child from childhood like dependence to self confidence and self reliance. Didn't attend college, no worries, the concepts are still thee same.

5. Develop skills that you will need. Marketplace Skills , I believe is what they are called Most business experience will have you do things that will develop you as a person and as business person. Understand they might not all be good experiences.

6. The first thing on thee list to own should be a house. It could be a modern flat or town house. Why? All of us need a place to live. Life is about family and friends, however the truth is friends will only help you for so many years. If you own your own place then you don't have to relay on other people. This will get you through many lonely nights...it's okay we all have them. Sometimes making the right choices for ourselves means letting go of the fun things we want to do. Those fun things create memories, owning your own home creates security.

Those are my six best thoughts of advice. If you don't know how to accomplish this then seek the advice of a professional financial planner.

This is a disclaimer, I am not being paid by either of the links below. It is my understanding that they are professional organizations that help people. 

If you need health, housing and other assistance, please visit North County Health Services,
CHP Financial Advisor and Planners

Single Woman Chrismas PlaceSetting

Hi there, Single Woman;

It's that time of year, where at church one might feel like the outcast. The ones the churches don't really know what to do with. Your single/married. A wifey/not. The wife may or may not like you. Yet you won't be invited to all the social events in their home. Did you ask for this. I don't think so...if you did why?

http//singlewomanwed.com

The truth is it is a testing of who, what, when, where, why?  As singles does The Lord assume we want to be married?  If so why?  Now if I were to look it up spiritually I would have to ask you why would you want me to do that.  Then I would have all the knowledge and you wouldn't. However, I
 encourage you do so.

Embrace your single-hood...No not the hood of your car, however if you have too take a photograph of yourself sitting on it. ( I wouldn't do it. Doesn't mean you can't.) Today I posted one of a kitten sitting on the dashboard. The Lord has a since of humor and he might just be testing your faith.


Faith...is what to you? I know what it is to me. Yes, I too rejoice with all you wifey"s. Rejoice on the beauty of being single. How fun it is on Christmas Day....you don't have children to wake you up and ask you if Santa has been to the house. You get to eat by yourself, spend endless hours by yourself, think by yourself. No nagging husband with a honey do list. Or children with an I want this, I want that, give me this, give me that.

Your free!!!! If you want put your tree on the table....  The man can't ask you to dance on the table or the bed anymore for that matter.  Get the courage this Christmas to box up all the goodies and put them away.

Here are my rules of editquettee for being single.

1. Don't tell anyone. It's really non of their business, unless you want them to know.
2. When you want to do what you want to. Grace and forgiveness are equal and isn't it what made you single to begin with. Someone did something they wanted to and one of you didn't want to.
3. Whenever you feel sad for yourself, set yourself a beautiful placesetting and than The Lord. That you have one...

Be Bless!

Any questions book an appointment. I plan meetings, I plan Weddings, I plan Events, I Do love what I do. MK Pure Diamond Events.

Christmas and Single

Hi There, Readers;

What are we to do? We are single and it's Christmas! It's the time of year when we are invited to attend tons of Christmas Parties. What's a girl to do? The man you wed is married and what looked like a good office relationship will be assumed more when they see you at the Christmas party. That double standard of its okay for the man and not acceptable for the woman still exist. You know that cold shoulder we woman give each other when we see another woman having a close relationship with their co-worker or executive partner. It doesn't have to be a reality, it's perceived reality.

Here are a few ways to cope with the reality of single woman.

1. Dress your best and dress for success. Remember to keep it age appropriate. Meaning don't wear something for a thirteen year old if your forty, even if it's your daughters and she says you look great in it.

2. Make sure if you have a relationship that is close, let the wife know. There is nothing to be a shamed of unless you have some fantasy you want to act on. In that case put yourself in check with a friend who will not allow you to act on it.

3. If your an extremely bold, let the wife or significant other know. There are many relationships in life where I have found the man attractive and have decided to tell his partner. I can't tell you how great it is to have that person understand and help me stay faithful to my own beliefs and family.

4. Attend the party with confidence knowing that it is acceptable to be single and no one has the right to say you are less because of it.

5. Don't let anyone make you sad or feel.like you should feel anything other than the need to rejoice with the season. The season brings enough frustrating thing...

6. Once you understand the mind set of some is to make themselves feel more important by making you feel less it's your job as a woman to protect yourself the best you can.

7. I love this season even though I have caught the good fight and have won some and lost some. That is not the seasons fault. It's just part of life. Maybe, not yours however it has been mine. Be proud knowing that you did the best you can with what you knew at the time. It is my version of one of Oprah Winfrey quotes.

8. It is really about knowing what type of woman you are and that knowledge is knowing you ate. What another woman wants is not always what is best for you at the Christmas party your invited to.

Most of all have fun and be yourself. That is what life is about being your self.

48 Single Ladies Things To Do

Come on all you single ladies...

What is it with being single?  When your single you want to be married. When your married you want to be single. Accepting the NOW of where he has you might be a little difficult, when the now is nothing you choose for yourself.
       

1. Exercise (running, walking, etc.).
2. Write (poetry, stories, journal).
3. Scribble/doodle on paper.
4. Be with other people.
5. Watch a favorite TV show.
6. Post on web boards, and answer others' posts.
7. Go see a movie.
8. Do a wordsearch or crossword.
9. Play a musical instrument.
10. Paint your nails, do your make-up or hair.
11. Sing.
12. Study the sky.
13. Punch a punching bag.
14. Let yourself cry.
15. Take a nap (only if you are tired).
16. Take a hot shower or relaxing bath.
17. Play with a pet.
18. Go shopping.
19. Clean something.
20. Knit or sew.
21. Read a good book.
22. Listen to music.
23. Try some aromatherapy (candle, lotion, room spray).
24. Meditate.
25. Go somewhere very public.
26. Bake cookies.
27. Alphabetize your CDs/DVDs/books.
28. Paint or draw.
29. Rip paper into itty-bitty pieces.
30. Shoot hoops, kick a ball.
31. Write a letter or send an email.
32. Plan your dream room (colors/furniture).
33. Hug a pillow or stuffed animal.
34. Hyperfocus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
35. Dance.
36. Make hot chocolate, milkshake or smoothie.
37. Play with modeling clay or Play-Dough.
38. Build a pillow fort.
39. Go for a nice, long drive.
40. Complete something you've been putting off.
41. Draw on yourself with a marker.
42. Take up a new hobby.
43. Look up recipes, cook a meal.
44. Look at pretty things, like flowers or art.
45. Create or build something.
46. Pray.
47. Make a list of blessings in your life.
48. Read the Bible.

Many of todays youth are going through the same thing adults experience. Understand there is nothing wrong with you. It's just a time of change.

(taken from 99 coping skills) Thank you for writing the article.

48 Single Ladies Things To Do

Come on all you single ladies...

What is it with being single?  When your single you want to be married. When your married you want to be single. Accepting the NOW of where he has you might be a little difficult, when the now is nothing you choose for yourself.
       

1. Exercise (running, walking, etc.).
2. Write (poetry, stories, journal).
3. Scribble/doodle on paper.
4. Be with other people.
5. Watch a favorite TV show.
6. Post on web boards, and answer others' posts.
7. Go see a movie.
8. Do a wordsearch or crossword.
9. Play a musical instrument.
10. Paint your nails, do your make-up or hair.
11. Sing.
12. Study the sky.
13. Punch a punching bag.
14. Let yourself cry.
15. Take a nap (only if you are tired).
16. Take a hot shower or relaxing bath.
17. Play with a pet.
18. Go shopping.
19. Clean something.
20. Knit or sew.
21. Read a good book.
22. Listen to music.
23. Try some aromatherapy (candle, lotion, room spray).
24. Meditate.
25. Go somewhere very public.
26. Bake cookies.
27. Alphabetize your CDs/DVDs/books.
28. Paint or draw.
29. Rip paper into itty-bitty pieces.
30. Shoot hoops, kick a ball.
31. Write a letter or send an email.
32. Plan your dream room (colors/furniture).
33. Hug a pillow or stuffed animal.
34. Hyperfocus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
35. Dance.
36. Make hot chocolate, milkshake or smoothie.
37. Play with modeling clay or Play-Dough.
38. Build a pillow fort.
39. Go for a nice, long drive.
40. Complete something you've been putting off.
41. Draw on yourself with a marker.
42. Take up a new hobby.
43. Look up recipes, cook a meal.
44. Look at pretty things, like flowers or art.
45. Create or build something.
46. Pray.
47. Make a list of blessings in your life.
48. Read the Bible.

Many of todays youth are going through the same thing adults experience. Understand there is nothing wrong with you. It's just a time of change.

(taken from 99 coping skills) Thank you for writing the article.

Money and the "Game of Life and How to Play It"

Ladies,

What a wondrous world this is when  Men can marry Men and Woman can marry Woman. The reality is still woman do not get equal pay for doing the same job, employment men do. What the heck got me thinking about this. I once read a book called The Game of Life and how to Play It. 

This morning I received an email from a man I respected in beginning of my career and again when I started my first event planning company. How interesting it is that he is still teaching what he taught so many years ago. He has been through his own life issues. Meaning life hasn't been always easy for him. However, although he is divorced, remarried no one has ever taken away his right to make a living because of his belief system or because he got a divorce.

What an interesting world this is. If equality has hit the marriage place why isn't equality in the work place? Did you know that statistically speaking more single mom's are hurting than men. About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. Nearly two-thirds are born to mothers under the age of 30. 

PlaceSettings by Maria Kamon @ Amazon.com

 Single mothers earn incomes that place them well below married mothers in the income ladder. Half with an annual income less than $25,000. vs 38 percent of fathers have an annual income of $50,000 or more. - 


That means if a male to male relationship happens their average income will be a hundred percent (100%) greater than a woman to woman marriage. This also means that male to male marriage (Forgive me for the wording, trying to be people sensitive on feelings) A male female marriage still will make only seventy-five percent (75%) of the "traditional marriage" will make. What the heck?!

 

I am a signal mom these days, believing in the right to make a living. I am so glad my friend told me he has a new book out. This blog has nothing to do with his book other than it got me upset at the fact that he will make millions off his book and I have made $4.34 yes that is (four dollars and thirty-four cents) all year off this blog. Yes, why because everyone wanted to know what event planners are all about during divorce. Mean well people who in saying they want to help, take more than they give.    

Why then as single woman are we not embracing other woman? It's a wed thing. We fear the unexpected. The woman who is going to take our man. The cheating man who wants more than what belongs to him. You know the old boyfriend who will drive a 100 miles to tell you he loves you, wants to provide for you and then turns around and helps your man. Causing you pain and sorrow.  Making you less valuable and speaking to others for you in the workplace. Affecting you while making a living while giving you all the pain, and saying that's Christian!  It's not. It's your workplace. I am my workplace. I have to make a living otherwise I don't eat. Just like gay couples, just like hertersexual couples. I am human with needs just like you. The difference is I choose to be a single mom. Okay, that was a venting point. Men have them too. The old girlfriend that will drive all those miles to hurt them and their marriage. Then there are woman l know that tell men to go back to their marriage and stop doing what they are doing. Getting to the point where we are upset and have to yell at the man to "F___" his own wife. Meaning go have sex with your own wife I am a single mom and need to make a living. You are not of interest to me. I don't want to have sex with you or have an affair. I am choosing to be single and a formal being. 

Let me tell you, this is an anger point for me. The United States of America is liberal enough to let legalizing "Gay" marriages happen, however they are not liberal enough to let legalize "Equal Pay" for women make the same about of money or more than men in the workplace? Send me your thoughts and help me to understand. Please use the comment box. Thank you Internet for the pictures. The Internet is something I never knew existed 30 years ago. Also something I am thankful my pastor's prayed with me about. 

Now it's about making Equal Pay happen for woman!

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You Want to Get Married I Know a Friend...

Hi there,

Place Setting for One

Have you ever been one of these ladies that your mother would say, 'so you want to get married I know a friend...my friends son". Growing up I heard this a lot. My friends mothers would bring over their young adolescent sons to see if they could would want to marry me. Oh my God, how I hated those family get togethers. It happened time and time again. Only for my mother to feel rejected every time.

Such old school stuff I would think. I knew that God had to have a better plan for my life, then marrying someone I didn't love let alone didn't know. Many different nationalities or cultures still believe in this tradition. It is the difference between marrying someone you love and loving the one you married. Either way it doesn't mean you will be successful at it. In marriage it takes more than just love. It is a balance of love plus commitment, plus communication. Communication means you have to be able to talk through the problems to get to the solution.

Get this. Now I am divorced and I hear... I know the perfect man you can have sex with. As if that is going to solve anything. Who will provide for me. Who will take care of me when I am old. While I was married then man I was married to was not my mom's favorite choice for me. Now I am divorced I shouldn't be without a mom.

In my youth, I thought God has to have something better for me. I choose to become a college graduate just in case. Now that I am the new...."whatever the trendy word is for the age I am in" I think who wants to start all over. If I didn't need a man in my youth, do I need one now? They all have issues at my age. Baggage so to speak.

I congratulate you on your desire to become wed. I respect your choice. I also appreciate and the choice to be single. You don't have to be married to be happy. There is a point where you just want to learn to be single again to make choices for yourself your business. I honestly would prefer you stay out of my business. It's called RESPECT! I respect your choice, respect mine. Here are some tips to know you are ready for marriage.

Marriage Is for Two

1. You are both in sync about faith, religion or culture.
2. You both feel called to, or lead to stay in the relationship.
3. The relationship looks like what you imagined for both of you.
4. The relationship is more than just about sex. (AKA booty call)
5. Your communication skill with each other is gentle, kind and loving.
6. There is no and I mean NO physical , emotional or spiritual abuse.
7. You can both equally share in the responsibility before you.
8. You feel safe and secure with me. ( You can trust him visit and know he won't steal from you.)
9. Know the reason why you want to get married. Is it security, love, money, etc. Knowing the truth about yourself, helps you to have integrity in your relationship.
10. Relationships all look different don't compare yourself to another.
11. Never get married thinking you are not good enough.
12. Loving who you are is thanking the God who created you. Who let you be born in the first place. Even if you didn't have the ideal childhood, mother or father. There was a Sovereign God who allowed you to be born therefore you are a value, and precious in the eyes of God.